While it has been fun posting pictures of the kids and some of the fun events of our family lately I have felt like I have needed to blog a little about my job hunt. July 9th will mark my sixth month of being unemployed. Working part-time at Starbucks has been a blessing because it is providing for our family to have medical benefits and some income in addition to my unemployment, and it helps me to get out of the house and have something concrete to give my time to besides my work at home and the church.
I have had a handful of interviews, a couple job offers but nothing that would provide what we need to live on. I continue to trust the Lord for the right opportunity. Most days I am able to stay level headed and positive about things but there have been a few days where the weight of not having a full-time income and having only a handful of leads has gotten overwhelming. Dana has said on more than one occasion, "Honey it only takes 1 right door to open..." and I do believe that God's faithfulness will lead me to that door. As of this point though that opportunity remains to be realized and I am still standing in faith, looking regularly for work, applying and following up on leads.
This last week I was reminded at 4:00 am of God's lovingkindness. I had just finished a difficult closing shift at Starbucks on Saturday night, came home about 1:30am and was asleep at 2 am. Josiah had been waking up periodically that night because he was teething and Dana was exhausted. At 4am he started wailing again- so bleary eyed and delirious, I turned down the monitor in our room so Dana could sleep and went to Josiah's room. After a bit of problem solving, I determined that he was hungry so I picked him up and got a bottle ready and sat in our recliner in the living room. Sitting there I found myself smiling and talking at my little guy, not feeling the weariness from the night before and not worried at all about having to get up in three more hours to get ready to set up for church and lead worship. I was just delighted to take care of my son. In that moment I realized that God delights in meeting my needs as well. That during this time of my unemployment, God is faithfully listening and responding to my cries for the next step in my career journey, my cries for provision and open doors of opportunity. His responses to me are not obligatory, or begrudging. He wants to help me right now, He wants to meet my needs, just as I was content and happy to hold my little Josiah and feed him at 4 am on 2 hours of sleep. God is delighting in showing His faithfulness to me during this time. I know that many of us have had revelations about God's care for us as we care for our children. This, however, for me was the first time. For whatever reason (maybe my thickheadedness) its just sinking in a little bit more. Well there's more to the story...
So I got Josiah fed and laid him back down for the rest of the night and got back in bed and promptly blacked out. One of those luscious, deep sleeps where it seems like you close your eyes and you just sleep forever. My alarm wakes me up at 7:30am blaring the Christian radio station. In my spirit, however there is an ENTIRELY different song playing loud and clear. I was a bit astonished because I hadn't heard this song in years and I just had to chuckle. In my mind, loud and clear was Marvin Gaye singing, "I wanna beee, your sole provider".
I know the Bible says that God surrounds us with songs of deliverance, and that the psalms alsosay that "at night Your song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life..." but Marvin Gaye? Maybe you think I'm crazy... but I'll take it. In my mind there is no coincidence between what God was showing me with Josiah and the song I woke up with in my heart. He IS my Sole provider!
I would like to ask for you to agree with me in prayer with me right now. First, that I would get interviews. One of the main challenges in today's job hunting environment is you never have face to face interaction with an employer. They explicitly say in the position announcement, that they want no calls or follow up emails about the position; that they will contact you if they are interested in pursuing you as a candidate. So your chances for making an impression on an employer lie entirely with your resume and cover letter. Pray that I will get called for more interviews. Also, there is a job that I have applied for that I would be thrilled to get. I have not yet been contacted for an interview, I just applied a week ago. Pray that I would be called for an interview. Thank you so much. I'll keep you posted!